George W. Bush, John Ashcroft, and Kathrine Harris go fishing on the
lake by George W.'s ranch. While speeding across the lake they hit a
tree trunk that cracks a hole in the bottom of the boat. The boat starts
to sink so they look for life preservers and find only one.
George W. Bush says: "I'm the President selected by the Supreme
Court. The people need me to protect the nation from the new world order
and the growth of the new economy and computers and such."
John Ashcroft says: "I'm the Attorney General and as the nations's
chief law enforcement officer I must live so that there will be no fear
or panic in the streets, if you two shall die. And besides I have to
outlaw abortion, affirmative action, campaign finance reform, environmental
protection, and same sex marriages to save the moral fiber of this country."
Finally, Kathrine Harris says: "I'm the Florida Secretary of State
and the state Republican Chairwoman, and I must survive so that I can
deliver the votes needed by all the Republican officials throughout
the state, and disenfranchise those minorities who vote for Democrats,
so that Republicans may continue to be elected even though more people
vote for Democrats."
And the three of them all agree that each has very good and moral arguments
for the life preserver, so that they decide the only fair way to decide
is by a vote. They cut up three squares of paper and vote by secret
ballot. Then they open the ballots to tally them.
The first ballot says "George W. Bush - one vote," the second
ballot says "John Ashcroft - one vote", and the third ballot
says "Kathryn Harris - 37 votes."